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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364994">Talk About You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/weishenbi/pseuds/weishenbi'>weishenbi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A bit of heartbreak, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Trans Male Character, Trans boy Yuta, mentions of dysphoria, they're both very oblivious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:35:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/weishenbi/pseuds/weishenbi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Yuta has a lot to worry about: finishing college, dysphoria, deciding what to do with his life, random people misgendering him every other day - so he would rather whine and be sad about his crush Sicheng not liking him back, instead. To anyone that will listen. It’s much easier to talk to other people about love problems anyway.</p><p>Or,</p><p>In which Taeyong gets attached to a boy who won’t stop talking about someone else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Talk About You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's tagged, but please be aware that there will be some mentions of dysphoria and some situations of misgender (in the past, mostly). They will be light, but just to be safe!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuta <em> really </em> did not want to get out of bed today. He didn’t want to get dressed, go out and attend a party filled with people he didn’t know. He’d also rather not take the subway on a friday afternoon and find himself pressed between strangers, especially not with a present under his arm.</p><p>So he stopped his alarm to set out a new one, ten minutes later, and went right back into bed, covering his head with the blankets in a futile attempt to block at least part of the 12am light that was coming in through the window. Why in the world did he stay awake until ass in the morning reading a book just because Doyoung had told him it was his favourite? <em> Doyoung. </em> Sigh. He should start getting ready, it was going to be a very long day.</p><p>Okay, he could do this, he thought while slowly abandoning the warm embrace of his bed. It was going to be alright. It wouldn’t be as terrible as he was dreading it to be. He actually liked birthday parties! If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t really mind being surrounded by new people, he was in fact excited about it. But his shoulders were hurting from wearing the binder all week and a part of Yuta was begging him to forget about it until Monday at least. But, of course, that wasn’t an option for that afternoon.</p><p>He started the rice cooker and let it on, going to the bathroom to take a hot shower and hopefully alleviate some of his muscle pain. Back at his parent’s house he could have took a decent, actual bath, but he’d have to get by with this for now. He retrieved his favourite black oversized shirt from the clean laundry pile, threw some jeans on and started looking evrywhere for his boots.</p><p>By the time he had succeeded in finding a free seat on the subway and could check his hair on the black screen of his phone, said screen kept lighting up with the incoming messages of his best friend asking him where he was. Come on, he was only going to get there 15 minutes late. That wasn’t even rude, that was polite and interesting, in an I’m-busy-but-I-still-care-about-you kind of fashion. Anyway, his hair looked good, so he swiped up to reply.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Yuta let out a groan of desperation as his head dramatically fell down onto the table, his forehead bumping into his crossed arms. Taeil just looked at him in silence, quirking an eyebrow.</p><p>“Just go and talk to him, he’s probably with Doyoung and Kun in the terrace.”</p><p>“I don’t want to make a fool out of myself <em> again </em>, hyung, I really don’t.” Taeil took a sip of his coke and stood up before ruffling Yuta’s hair.</p><p>“Whatever you want, just go and talk to people, meet new friends. You are in a party, for God’s sake, wouldn’t kill you to socialize for a little while.” A muffled grunt of protest came as a response. “Look, I’ll come with you if you want me to, okay? I’m not leaving you alone, but I can’t be the only person you talk to tonight. That’s my offer.” Yuta kept quiet for a few seconds.</p><p>He wasn’t usually like this. Hell, any other day he may have needed someone reminding him to chill for a bit instead of pursuing a conversation with <em> everyone </em> in the building. And Taeil, who had been friends with him for a long time, knew this. But he also knew that some days Yuta could feel overwhelmed, and that in those cases a bit of support and a little push were usually enough to get him back on track.</p><p>“Guess I’ll take it.” He got up from the chair as well and rested his chin on the older’s shoulder.</p><p>“Good boy.” </p><p>“Gross, save that shit for the bedroom.” He saw a familiar face coming through the door and leaned back to tap his friend in the arm. “Isn’t that one of your classmates?”</p><p>“Oh, right! Taeyong, hi!” The boy recognised Taeil and came closer to greet him. Next thing Yuta knew, that fucker he called best friend had left the two of them alone to get his classmate a drink. Great.</p><p>“I don’t think we’ve properly met before? I’m Taeyong,” the boy flashed him a smile, “and you are?”</p><p><em> Uncomfortable. I’m very uncomfortable, I think I can’t breathe. Oh my God will he notice I can’t breathe I should say something- </em>“I’m Yuta! It’s nice finally getting to talk to you, since Taeil can’t seem to shut up about you.” </p><p>“Seriously? I didn’t think there was much to say about me, to be honest…” Taeyong blushed a little in surprise and Yuta smiled, but he wasn’t really sure what to say next. Good thing that traitor came back shortly after and spurred a conversation, or they would have been doomed to sharing awkward looks and smiles in silence for who knows how long.</p><p><em> Oh no </em>, he thought the first time the newcomer laughed at something Taeil said. Oh no, he’s super cute. Why was the universe doing this to him? He just wanted to make some new friends, why was everyone their friends knew stunningly handsome or cute or both? Taeyong not only had a really nice style - torn grey jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket, with lots of earrings and ear piercings, it wasn’t really different from what he normally wore; except for the bright pink hair, obviously. He also had a mesmerizingly handsome face, the kind of uncommon features that drew your eyes in and made you want to just stare from different angles until you got the whole picture right and decided your sight wasn’t deceiving you.</p><p>Or maybe he was just staring and making the situation awkward? He seriously considered a quick retreat for a second, but Taeyong had started talking about music now, and he was genuinely interested in his taste, so he figured staying for a bit more wouldn’t hurt.</p><p> </p><p>And ‘a bit more’ turned into almost an hour, as they found it was really easy to be in each other’s company, and Yuta started to really enjoy just the sound of the other’s voice. At some point the birthday boy approached them and chatted with the trio before being required somewhere else; and a while later some other friends came up to where they were and engaged in the conversation too. Then Taeil ended up leaving with them to keep talking, after silently checking they were both fine with it.</p><p>“I’d actually like another drink…” Taeyong mindlessly tapped his fingers on his empty cup, “Don’t you want something to drink too, or are you sticking to water?” Yuta shook his head, it didn’t seem smart to mix his anxiety meds with alcohol, and he never liked drinking that much anyway.</p><p>“Nah, I don’t want to start the weekend with a hangover or something”</p><p>“Oh, good thinking” Taeyong giggled softly and ran his free hand through his hair in what seemed to be a nervous habit, “but come grab a coke at least? And maybe show me where the kitchen is, for that matter?” He got up from the couch they had been sitting on and started walking towards the door, turning back to check if Yuta was coming with him after all. He was, obviously. How could he let his new friend get lost in a five-room house?</p><p>But as soon as they got to the kitchen he regretted not having stayed in the safety of the couch. Sicheng sent them a small shy smile, and Yuta was sure his ears turned an incandescent shade of red. Jaehyun dove Taeyong into a hug as soon as he saw him, lifting him slightly over the ground.</p><p>“Hey Yuta! Hello hyung! Could you guys help us out carrying the plates and the cutlery while Win and I take the cake out to the terrace?”</p><p>“Oh, sure! I’ll get the plates” Taeyong disentangled himself from the embrace, took a couple of packs on each hand and made way for Yuta to pick the big package of plastic spoons.</p><p>“I feel like I should carry a knife too…?” Yuta hesitated, “since I have a free hand, and we can’t really cut the cake with these” he rose the hand with the spoons.</p><p>“Yeah, thanks!” Jaehyun took the big cardboard structure on top of which rested the cake by one side, and Sicheng held it by the other. Taeyong hurried to hold the door open for them, and they got out of the room in a penguin-like step.</p><p>When they left everything on the plastic tables that were set up for the party, Yuta remembered Taeyong was initially supposed to grab something to drink, so he got back inside for a beer or something of the sorts, only to find Taeil about to go outside.</p><p>“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a little bit, have you been talking to Taeyong all this while?” Taeil stepped back and followed him around the kitchen.</p><p>“Yes, actually, he’s pretty nice,” he opened the fridge and looked inside. Faced with a rainbow of cans and bottles containing alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, he turned to Taeil again for help, “what did you give him before? He wanted something to drink.”</p><p>“Oh, it was coke and rum I think? Just get him a beer, he likes that too.”</p><p>“Nice” he got a coke for himself too, “join us outside? I think they’re going to sing and blow the candles soon.”</p><p>“Sure, sure. I was going to, anyways.”</p><p>Taeyong seemed busy talking to Jaehyun and Doyoung, but he wasn't going to let the beer get warm, so he entered the conversation, gave Doyoung a well-earned hug and a loud HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOSER scream in his ear, only to give the beer to Taeyong and not to him.</p><p>"I'm kicking you out of my house."</p><p>"Come on, I got you a nice present! Don't be whiny, that's not very grown-up of you." </p><p>Jaehyun couldn't hide his cackle and Doyoung’s glare pierced holes through his skull. Taeyong thanked him for the beer in a hushed voice and made a little toast against his own can before drinking. Yuta’s eyes found themselves focused on the little bob that the Adam’s apple of the boy made, and right after that the glist of the rings on the hand holding the can attracted their attention. But then Jaehyun said something and his eyes hurried elsewhere, as though they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The cake had been served, embarrasing memories shared and every topic of conversation one could think of had been discussed. Yuta had actually eased up, met new people and talked with just about everyone throughout the evening. Feeling more like himself, he had even tried to flirt with Sicheng at some point - and failed yet again. At least he was letting Yuta down in a more polite way than previous times, maybe because he felt bad, maybe because he was starting to get used to his company, who knew. But he must still look slightly gloomy, apparently, because Taeil, who had witnessed the exchange from a small distance, took him aside to check up on him. As they were rummaging through the snacks to hide their talk, a black and pink figure passed them by and then reappeared in the form of a Taeyong.</p><p>“Everything alright around here?” He was smiling, but with his eyebrows raised. Taeil assured him they were fine and invited him to join them in the search for shrimp flavoured chips, so that he did.</p><p>Though in the process Yuta might have been throwing sidelong glances towards Sicheng a bit too often, because his new friend ended up noticing.</p><p>“Do you want to go over there instead? You don’t have to keep us company or anything, you know.” Yuta let his mouth open in shock and Taeil just coughed trying to hide his giggles.</p><p>“What, no, I’m. No! What?”</p><p>“It’s just puppy love, he’ll get better but we need to distract him.” And that made <em> two </em> treasons in one afternoon. Honestly why was Taeil even his best friend? He just smacked his neck at the same time that a very wide-eyed Taeyong asked, <em> puppy love for Jaehyun? </em> in a whisper.</p><p>“No!!!” Okay, maybe Yuta had raised his voice way too much there, it had even cracked a little. He was more embarrassed about that than he was about some people looking over at them for a second, so he cleared his throat before speaking again, very calmly, to Taeyong, “No. Not him.” Taeyong seemed to relax, which he couldn’t help but notice - what was happening there?</p><p>“So who’s got you moping then?” </p><p>“Taeil, will you stop. Stop making fun of me. For the love of God!” Taeil just stuffed some leftover cake in his mouth pretending not to hear him. “I take it you don’t want to hear me rambling about my love drama the same day we’ve met, so I’ll spare you the suffering.”</p><p>Taeyong offered him a sideways smile.</p><p>“I mean, I’m always up for some gossip?”</p><p>Taeil noticed Johnny and Junmyeon gesturing him to go talk to them behind them, and excused himself. “Taeyong is a really good listener, actually. But don’t let this young man dwell into his woes for too long or you’ll end up sad too! I’ll be right there, since I already know the story…” </p><p>And with that they were alone again. Yuta took a couple of chips and started munching on them.</p><p>“I’m sorry we brought that up. Really, we don’t have to talk about that, I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“I actually don’t mind!” Taeyong ran a hand trhough his hair again. “I’d like to know you better, and if you want to share that side of you now I’ll be happy to listen. Or we can talk about anything else if you need a distraction!”</p><p>“Hm. Okay, I guess.”</p><p>This kid was too nice. But he did love talking, and talking to him was pleasant. <em> And </em> he had offered to listen himself. So why not? It’s not like he could embarrass himself more than he already had. But he’d rather sit down, his back was starting to hurt again. He scanned the terrace for an empty spot to sit on and decided the glass door ledge was as good a place as any, so they sat there.</p><p>“So, if not Jaehyun. Ten? Sicheng?”</p><p>“Dude, I didn’t even know Ten before today.” He laughed. “Sicheng, yeah. It’s not that much of a deal really but...”</p><p>“But he rejects you too harshly?” Yuta nodded, and Taeyong continued, “Yeah, he does that.”</p><p>“To you?” No way. Who would <em> dare </em> turn Taeyong down? The other laughed.</p><p>“No, not me, he’s not my type. But I’ve known him for quite a bit and I’ve seen a fair share of… <em> suitors </em> get turned down. So I can imagine what you mean.”</p><p>“Yeah… he entered the soccer team this year and I’ve been kind of head over heels since? After a bit of a rocky start,” That he really didn’t like recalling, since it involved Sicheng being <em> surprised about this being a neutral locker room </em> when he saw him enter, “we actually got to talking and I just developed a crush on him. But everytime I make a move I end up embarrasing him or myself or anyone watching.” Taeyong laughed at that.</p><p>“Come on, I’m sure it’s not that bad. But are you guys friends?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that? We’re teammates, and we’re on good terms, but friends… is maybe a bit too much.” He scratched his head and took a sip of what was left of the soda on his plastic cup.</p><p>“Then there you have it,” the other boy nudged his shoulder, “you just have to become friends first! You get to build a relationship first, and then maybe you will know how to make your way into his heart. And, if that doesn’t work out, at least you have him as a friend.” Yuta leaned backwards against the glass door, pensive. That was absurdly sensible. “There’s also the possibility that you guys are so comfortable as friends that your romantic feelings disappear and you just enjoy the platonic relationship more than you would a romantic one, even.”</p><p>“You seem to talk from experience. Or are you just that good of a psychologist?” He wiggled his eyebrows, making Taeyong cackle. Enough talking about himself, he would rather switch the attention to the other.</p><p>“Well, a bit of both I’d say.”</p><p>“Is it what happened with you and Jaehyun?” Risky. Taeyong seemed a little taken aback. “Sorry if I’m overstepping or something”, Yuta hurried to add.</p><p>“No, it’s fine, don’t worry. Yeah, something similar I guess? But we’ve been best friends for ages now, it feels kind of natural to just be this way. I was surprised you’d know, maybe <em> you </em> are the psychologist here?”</p><p>Yuta shrugged. “I’m just a people person, you know.” Okay, maybe he was smirking too.</p><p>They quickly changed topics and just stayed there talking, enjoying their company. Just when they were in the middle of discussing which university cafeteria had the worst coffee, Yuta arguing “but we must count the overpricing as an aggravant factor!” while Taeyong insisted that “we should only take the taste and texture into consideration if the purity of the ranking means anything to us”, a couple of legs wearing baby blue jeans entered their field of vision. They looked up to find Doyoung attached to said legs and jeans, apologising for not having given them enough attention that day. The other boys told him not to worry and urged him to join their obviously trascendental debate, hoping he’d pick a side. Instead they found themselves in a much more heated debate that this time focused on the daily menus. </p><p>As expected from a group involving the birthday boy and party host, a while later more people joined their little corner, and they eventually had to get up and move to a wider area so that everyone could fit. The group ended up withdrawing to the living room, guests piling up in the couch, on top of cushions scattered around on the floor, or sitting on chairs they brought from other rooms. In face of the dead silence that had fallen upon them, Ten suggested they dusted off Doyoung’s board games and played any of them, making Johnny’s face light up suggesting they played Monopoly. A strong “no” followed. After some back-and-forth, they ended up settling for playing Uno instead.</p><p>The party officially ended a couple of hours later, when the sun was already setting. The guests had been leaving one by one or by couples in that time, being specially worth mentioning Kun and Ten leaving together right after they ended their really contested one-on-one final round filled with <em> + </em>4 cards.</p><p> </p><p>Before leaving, and even though they had already said goodbye to each other, Taeyong rushed to give Yuta his plastic cup back.</p><p>“You almost forgot this!” Yuta took the cup, almost by reflex, and couldn’t help but notice how light it was.</p><p>“But it’s almost empty…?” He was confused, why would he want to carry his empty cup back home? Was Taeyong an environment freak or something. That would actually be cute. The boy switched his weight between his feet and looked down… shyly?</p><p>“Just keep it if you want!” And he was retreating inside the house the next second, saying a soft <em> bye </em> as he turned.</p><p>Still a bit shocked, Yuta walked back to the subway station holding the cup on his hand all the while. It was when he had to switch it to his left hand to take his wallet out and validate his ticket that he noticed something had been written on the other side of the cup. He hurried through the gates and to the mechanical stairs to have a moment to read it. It was a phone number next to a smiley face and a couple of hearts, drawn with a permanent marker over the plastic surface. He turned red, and quickly snapped a picture with his phone in fear that he would lose the cup before being able to add him.</p><p>On the way back home a storm was forming inside Yuta’s mind. What did those hearts mean? What did the fact that he had gone out of his way to give him his number mean? A seemingly obvious answer began to take form in his head, but he pushed it away. It kept coming back, though: <em> maybe he likes you! </em>. Dumb inner voice. </p><p>Did Taeyong really show interest in him, or was he just wishful thinking and reading the signs wrong? Were there any signs at all, would maybe be a better question. Let’s stop and think. He had clearly stated he was <em> not </em> straight, what with all that Jaehyun thing and all, so at least that base was covered for now and there was no room for repeating past fiascos. And Yuta was pretty sure the boy had enjoyed his company and was comfortable around him. But all that didn’t necessarily mean he <em> liked him </em> . He was probably just being nice and friendly towards him… Taeil always said Taeyong was a really kind person and that it was easy to befriend him because he was always up for listening to anyone and talking to them. And he also said he was a naturally affectionate person, which could probably explain the hearts better than him liking Yuta. Of course that was probably why. He had three small, tiny, dismal clues checking off the “reasons why it’s not totally impossible he likes you” list: the hearts and the facts that he liked boys and he enjoyed his company. But all of them could easily fall under the “reasons to think he likes you <em> as a friend </em>” list, so what was even the point in giving it any more thought?</p><p>Well, he pinched his nose while he came clean with himself. He was entertaining the possibility because Yuta <em> had </em> liked the other. A bit. And he was hoping this meant something, because it would be nice to think he wasn’t just being ridiculous again. Like he was whenever he tried to seduce Sicheng. The boy was perfectly right in not liking his annoying and ugly self, so why was he expecting Taeyong to like him either?</p><p>The initial excitement and light mood from the evening had turned into a hammering repetition of reasons why he was being stupid, thinking someone would ever like him. There were plenty of handsome, smart, nicer than him boys on that party alone, so just entertaining the idea of Taeyong being interested in his sorry ass was delusional and laughable.</p><p>But on the other hand, he did say that Sicheng was not his type. So if handsome, smart, perfect men weren’t what he was looking for, maybe Yuta had a chance? He shook his head. Taking that path wasn’t leading him anywhere. He should just ask Taeil and pray he had picked up on what was going on there. And he should just add Taeyong’s number and send him a text, since the last thing he wanted now was him thinking he didn’t want to keep in touch.</p><p>He got home, and was opening the door when his phone vibrated with new messages. Most likely Doyoung, judging by the insistence.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Bunny:</b>
</p><p>Bitch</p><p>
  <em> Photo attached </em>
</p><p>You got me a fucking gabardine?? Are you out of your mind?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>You:</b>
</p><p>youre already opening them? im JUST getting home now</p><p>dont worry, its not the expensive one we saw at that store!!!</p><p>i found a second-hand one that looked rly similar</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Bunny:</b>
</p><p>If I find out you spent a lot of money on this I will murder you</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>You:</b>
</p><p>relax, it was super cheap</p><p>does it fit you right tho!!!!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bunny:</b>
</p><p>It does. Thank you.</p><p>It’s really warm too...</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>You:</b>
</p><p>&lt;33</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>He just changed into his pajamas and got into bed, tempted to leave the phone be until the next morning. But he forced himself to pick it up again, sending Taeil a bunch of voice notes about the whole plastic cup issue, and a brief text to let him know he was already home and the above wasn’t urgent. He knew his friend probably wouldn’t listen to them until next morning anyway but, just in case. Only the most difficult step left.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>You:</b>
</p><p>hey! yuta here, i hope you got back home safely!!</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Oh God, he was typing. That fast? He was not prepared for this. Should he just lock his phone now and not look at what he sent? Too late.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Taeyong:</b>
</p><p>hi!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ </p><p>i’m glad you didnt throw the cup away or something hahahah</p><p>yes, i got home all right! i live just a few blocks away from dodo, but thanks for asking!</p><p>did you get home already as well? (´・ω・｀)</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>You:</b>
</p><p>glad to hear that!</p><p>i almost didnt see it to be honest haha</p><p>im actually going to bed now!! gn<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Taeyong:</b>
</p><p>good night!!</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Well <em> that </em> was a bit awkward. </p><p>He was fighting sleep back, the events of the day still running through his mind, but judging by how heavy his eyelids felt, sleep was clearly winning the battle. Maybe it was best to rest and deal with it the next morning, with a cleared mind and hopefully with some advice on Taeil’s side. For now, he really needed to sleep and let both his mind and body chill the fuck down.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!!! Thank you so much if you read this, this fic is my baby project and it means so much to me that you took the time to read this first chapter! If you want to let me know anything about it, I'd be thrilled to read you either on here or on my twitter @ ahgaselaiuz if you'd rather use that!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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